Please stop. We beg you to stop.
It is hard enough to be a clown in this world where clowns in movies, on TV, and even in music are always portrayed as either stupid or scary or related to fast food. We are neither, and our food is slow-cooked and locally sourced. And now when we go out in public, people are going to have even more reason to question our actions, because of yours. This is our livelihood, people. How dare you take on our image, our faces, our likeness—a likeness that is meant to represent heart and soul and joy and truth and love and magic—and use it for something harmful and threatening.
We want to be clear here: The people committing these acts are not “clowns.” They do not deserve to be called “clowns” because they do not reflect a clown’s mission to seek truth and create healing and love. We, the real clowns, are now calling these cowardly people, who wear masks and fakey-fake looking clown makeup to conceal their identities, “Masked Nightmare-ists.” Morro liked “Fakey-fakes” but Jasp thought it sounded too silly for them, and they do not deserve the title of “silly” either.
So we are asking you, the public, to please not give them the honour of being called clowns. We are taking that right away from them. Right here. Right now. Do not give them power. If you see one, stop drop and roll, blow a whistle, alert the authorities, Care Bear–Stare them with your ukulele band, and tell them you are united with real clowns everywhere. We will not let these “Masked Nightmare-ists” scare us anymore.
Also, to anyone who is planning to dress up as a scary clown at Halloween, get an imagination and make a costume that is actually creative. If you even bother to take the time to look it up online, Halloween costumes were originally to ward off roaming ghosts, so we’re not sure how a clown costume does that anyway.
Finally… Dear King Bo. We watched your video. We understand you are scared and angry and want to protect yourself and your family and friends. We don’t blame you for being angry. We are angry too, and want to stick the Masked Nightmare-ists’ heads in toilets or cover them with five thousand fire ants. But hatred and violence is not the answer. Or at least that is what we were taught as kids. Tasering is definitely not the answer… because you might accidentally mistake us for killer clowns and taser us. The Masked Nightmare-ists are obviously people who are really twisted and in need of some love or attention or a good Netflix binge or… we are not sure what they need, but they need it in a big way.
Join us in identifying these people as what they are: Masked Nightmare-ists, a.k.a assholes.
With love and spitfire,
Morro and Jasp