Not to be outdone by Washington in terms of rebranding themselves with the most obvious and least creative name imaginable, the Leafs are now considering changing their name to the Toronto We-Are-Probably-Never-Going-Win-The-Cup-Agains.
You know those wonderful memories you have of your parents waving goodbye to you when you were a little kid? How they would do that right up until the very last second that you were out of sight? And remember how safe and confident that made you feel to be loved so intensely?
These new Canadian government snitch lines are getting a little out of hand. Three cops came to my door last week and took away my World’s Greatest Lover coffee mug. I mean, that shit is fairly subjective, no?
Every day my parents watch Tim & Sid, two guys who have a show where they talk about professional sports. My parents watch them EVERY SINGLE DAY. Even though there have been no professional sports FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS!!!!
I decided to start counting my steps, just out of curiosity. I know it’s not a competition and I honestly am not trying to brag or intimidate anyone, but I came pretty damned close to breaking 100 steps this week.