Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
2. Professional Fuck Yeah of the Week
3. Memory of the Week
4. Recently completed stage two of my full permanent dental implants in New Jersey. Mike, who made this set, and who will make my final set, also made Joe Pesci’s teeth. He told me that Joe once called him from the golf course, and he asked Joe, “What can I do for you, Joe?” Pesci answered, “I want a pair of fucking shoes, Mike. What do you think I’m callin’ for? You’re a fucking dentist! I want some teeth!”
5. History Lesson of the Week
6. Change Is Possible of the Week
7. I have read so many people criticize The Power of The Dog for being a dreadfully slow-moving film. And I think that is completely and totally for one reason and one reason only — its title. If it had been called The Suspiciously Quiet, Often Moody, Seemingly Homophobic, Fiddle-Playing, Probably Gay Bully Who Occasionally Takes Luxuriating Outdoor Baths, I don’t think anybody would have had a problem with It.
8. Relationship Fuck Yeah of the Week
9. I was on an airplane recently, flying to New Jersey for a dentist appointment. Not a big trip. In and out of the country in 24 hours. Not a huge flight, not a long time away. Still, I’m always kind of positive when I get on an airplane that this will be the flight I die on. That’s how my brain works.
In any case, I texted my daughter, as I always do, to tell her how much I loved who she was, who she is, and who she is becoming, and told her that I will love her for all times no matter what happens.
Then I realized: I’m really not close enough to almost any other person on earth to text that “just in case I die” text to anymore.
I have some close friends but I mean, it’s a Tuesday flight at dinnertime, and people are living their lives. I’m just not that super close with many people, generally speaking. Don’t have super regular communication with anyone at all. I’ve all but stopped talking on the phone. I don’t see people unless I really have to. I live a super insular life. And I really fucking like it. I don’t expect many would — I never, as a younger man, would have expected that I would.
But I’ve grown to value just being alone most of the time. I’m not trying to promote this way of living. I’m just sharing that I am calmer and more grounded and relaxed than I think I have ever been in my life. And I’m writing this while on a plane that is just about to take off in the month that I turn fifty-four years old, and will spend that entire day thinking about how I am one day closer to death — while taking another flight, as it happens — than I had been the day before.
I did end up texting the person I am probably second closest to in my life to share this thought, just in case I didn’t make it to the other side — so someone would know that if I died, that I would be fairly at peace about it.
10. Health Post of the Week
11. The other night I had a dream that I had a lizard between my legs, and whenever it tried to grab an insect with its tongue, it misjudged the distance and missed it. I’ve never had a reptile dysfunction dream until now.
12. Beautiful Post of the Week
Wow. I feel like that on a plane too. I always call Turner. And…I like the 12th spot
Insightful and incendiary as always.
Happy Birthday, P-Man!
Your articles have a great impact on me…thanks for always keeping it real and raw!