Cheap Head, Good Art, and “Me Time” for Men
How is a lockdown like a penis?
How is a lockdown like a penis?
When I started seeing Sean Connery’s name pop up in my newsfeed Saturday. I thought, “Oh, fuck, no. Don’t tell me he is endorsing Trump now, too.”
If Joe Pesci got a face lift and had his Everything Interesting removed, he’d be Ralph Macchio.
Not to be outdone by Washington in terms of rebranding themselves with the most obvious and least creative name imaginable, the Leafs are now considering changing their name to the Toronto We-Are-Probably-Never-Going-Win-The-Cup-Agains.
You know those wonderful memories you have of your parents waving goodbye to you when you were a little kid? How they would do that right up until the very last second that you were out of sight? And remember how safe and confident that made you feel to be loved so intensely?
Online theatre is to actual theatre what almond milk is to actual milk. Or what Nicolas Cage movies are to actual movies.
I just thought of an amazing alternate name for all future Online Theatre Festivals. I would call them Watching TV.
These new Canadian government snitch lines are getting a little out of hand. Three cops came to my door last week and took away my World’s Greatest Lover coffee mug. I mean, that shit is fairly subjective, no?
Every day my parents watch Tim & Sid, two guys who have a show where they talk about professional sports. My parents watch them EVERY SINGLE DAY. Even though there have been no professional sports FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS!!!!
The last demo reel I made in 2013 was 19 minutes long. The ideal demo reel is five minutes long.
How many fans of the last two U2 albums does it take to change a lightbulb?
Canadian Parliament is an essential service like McDonald’s is an essential part of a healthy diet.
One time an American friend asked me if, at this point in my career, I still had to audition to get roles. I told her that I worked in Canada—I still have to audition to get auditions.
Sometimes I really really really enjoy watching fucking morons try to be clever on social media. They’re kinda cute. Like watching fawns trying to walk for the first time.
There are times in life to speak and times to listen. I’m listening right now. I want to learn and grow and be better every day.
Imagine my surprise when Canada Post contacted me to let me know they were honouring the 150th edition of Nappoholics with this stamp.