Wine Rack, Nasal Spray, and the Pride Parade

Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.

1. I have never been prouder of my daughter Ella than when she texted my sister pretending to be me. My sister never doubted for a second that it was me or that the events described were actually taking place.

2. Guest Post of the Week

3. Guy at Wine Rack- Would you like to try some free samples?

Me- Listen, I know you have to ask every person that question every time they come in here, but anyone who actually gives a shit about how this stuff tastes would never come in here in the first place.

4. Discussing weed with Lyon Smith, during a photo shoot I was doing with him last week, and asked him what his ideal high would be. He said, “The type of high where a massage would really be nice but I can still answer the phone.”

5. Classic Me

6. It’s disgusting how many people give zero shits about offending First Nations people on Halloween. I tried to explain to one troll: imagine if I came to your house and murdered your whole family and then just took your house and nobody cared. And then every Halloween, I dressed up like your mom because “it was fun” to me. Wouldn’t you find that a bit fucking gross?

7. I really enjoy talking to the young fans of Disney’s Zombies (a film I was in) on Instagram. But I don’t think I always give them the answers that they are looking for. 

8. Last week, my doctor informed me that nasal spray, from this point forward, will officially be recognized as one of my bodily fluids.

9. Top 5 Pop Songs for the Trolls slandering Dr. Christine Blasey Ford online

5. You Stupid Motherfucker

4. Why Can’t We Defriend?

3. I Wanna Break Your Hand

2. Another Prick on My Wall

1. Sympathy for the Devil

10. Fuck Off of the Week

11. Amen of the Week

12. I wrote this on Pride Parade Day, 2018. I hope it may help wash away some of last week’s unavoidable negativity and despair.

I brought Ella downtown to get her hair highlights today for her grade 8 prom tomorrow. I also went to my first ever Pride Parade, as I had to kill a few hours while Ella did her thing. I honestly have never avoided the parade but also had never made a point of going, either. Just supported it from a distance because a parade is a fuckin’ parade. People walking and waving, right? Who cares? After today, I no longer hold that opinion. Having now been there, I have no idea why anyone would ever object to this parade. A celebration of what is absolutely right and natural. It was all about love and pride, purely and simply.  Completely positive and welcoming. It was the communal embodiment of joy itself. I have never experienced such intensely emotional energy. Anyone who speaks negatively of this event can not possibly have attended it. I can only put that stance on it down to fear and ignorance.

If this city won a Stanley Cup, there would be an insane party and a parade that nobody would think twice about. A parade for a team that hasn’t come close to winning anything in fifty years (more or less). A team that has 5 guys from Ontario and 2 guys from Toronto. Today I saw a team that has fought for their basic human rights and survival every minute of every day for their entire lives. A team that has only made incremental gains over far too long a period of time—in terms of just being accepted for who they are—fighting against a lot more than opposing hockey teams. Not to mention they are fighting on an unfair playing field. They’re fighting HATE and systemic discrimination, violence and abuse, and doing it with dignity. These people are true fucking champions, every last one of them. And they are us. Our families and friends, coworkers and peers. I made a vow to myself today that I won’t ever miss another Pride Parade again. In fact, next year I plan to be marching and waving in it. And I hope to see many of you down there, as well. Especially those of you who have never attended. Support your home team. Support right over wrong. Support fuckin’ love, for God’s sake. I promise that you won’t regret it.

Written By

Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.