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Oatmeal, Voter Fraud, and Lesser-Known Rhapsodies

/By / Nov 20, 2018

Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.

1. November 14, 2018 

2. Classic Ella (who turned 14 yesterday). SHE WAS FUCKING 4!!!

3. The Quintessential Top Ten Movie Poster List

  1. Movie from my Childhood to make me seem human (Herbie the Lovebug?)
  2. Something with a racial theme to make me seem woke
  3. Nothing by Woody Allen
  4. Something Canadian (duh) or in another language (they both count as foreign at the Oscars)
  5. An Arthouse Comedy I didn’t actually laugh at, but smiled really hard for
  6. Citizen Kane, even though I hate it because nobody will challenge it
  7. A Musical—but not Purple Rain or 8 Mile because there aren’t any dance sequences in them
  8. Breaking the Waves or Dancer in the Dark although I’d rather get a root canal without anesthetic than see either one again
  9. Nothing featuring Louis CK
  10. Shawshank Redemption

4. Tell me again how it’s a scary time for men and I’ll knock your teeth out.

5. My feelings about oatmeal are pretty simple. If I am not camping or in prison, I’m not fucking eating it.

6. Guest comment of the week

7. Top 5 OTHER Rhapsodies

5. Woehemian Rhapsody- a group Stratford actors eloquently bitching together

4. Phohemian Rhapsody- the best name for a new restaurant EVER, somebody better open that shit quick

3. Blowhemian Rhapsody- the title of my memoir

2. Slowhemian Rhapsody- any gathering of Trump/Ford/Alt-Right supporters

1. Brohemiem Rhapsody- a group of Italian males yelling to each other on the Danforth

8. I loved Winnie Jong’s response to whether or not she was going to star in her own web series, Token, which I will play a small role in.

9. Canada- you are behind by a century. 

10. A follow up on the lucky audition moustache story from a few weeks back—the lucky stache went two for two. I’m going to both St. John’s, NL and Budapest.

11. Guest post of the week

12. I don’t think this is absurd at all. The year that I was nominated for the Dora Award for Best Actor, EVERY TIME I bumped into a Dora jury member, they were wearing a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT OUTFIT.  And did I win?! No, I did not. Is that a coincidence???

I have to say I am totally with The Donald on this one. 

Tony Nappo

Tony Nappo

Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.



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