Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. I am really feeling that hour I lost this week. Not because of Daylight Saving. But because I accidentally watched an entire episode of Riverdale.
2. Classic Me
3.Last week, my fourteen-year-old daughter and I had dinner at my ex wife’s home with her and her twelve-year-old son. It was the first time that her son and I had ever discussed the fact that I had been married to his mom almost twenty years ago-
Me- So what do you think of that? That I used to be married to your mom?
He rolls his eyes.
Me- Don’t roll your eyes at me. You should be thanking me. If I wasn’t such a shitty husband, you would have never been born.
4. Here is the one positive thing I can say about Facebook debates, as pointless and polarizing as they can usually be. I think the most basic human want (not need) is to be heard- actually listened to and, ideally, understood. It’s not about being right or wrong because there’s rarely ever is an absolute right or wrong about anything. Most people are just stating opinions that have barely even been properly formed. I really feel bad for people who NEED to be right all the time. I respect those who are fully informed on what they are debating and fight for what they truly believe in but who are also listening with an open mind without compromising their own authenticity. Keeping all that in mind though, if you voted for Doug Ford, you’re a fucking idiot.
5. Top Five Justin-Trudeau-Hater Elton John songs.
5. I’m Still Stuttering
4. Circle Jerk of Life
3. I Guess That’s Why They’re Calling The Next Election The Blues.
2. Open Border Song
1. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word But Say It Anyway, Ya Stubborn Fuck
6. They say if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all. So with that in mind, I think it’s really nice that the very real possibility exists that this guy could slip on some winter ice and significantly injure himself.
7. Having some phone issues with my daughter these days so I am limiting her access to her phone at home way more than I ever have before.
Ella- It’s not fair??? Why????
Me- Because you’re addicted.
Ella- Well, you’re a dick DAD.
Me- Well, you’re a dick KID.
I’m calling that one a tie.
8. Guest Tweet of the Week
Articles like this bug the shit out of me. Viggo’s performance was brilliant in this film. Does he represent all Italians? No. He is playing one of them. The one whose son is partly credited for writing the script. Why are Italians depicted as criminals and thugs in films so often? Because they make up a large component of criminals and thugs that exist. Not a large component of Italians, in general—maybe it’s only one or two percent of all of us put together or less—but they still exist. Maybe not the most complex human beings on earth and not representing the best of us but they are real. And while some Italians are complaining, so many of these same guys will still go on about how great The Godfather, Godfather Part II, Raging Bull, Goodfellas, A Bronx Tale, Casino, Donny Branco, and The Untouchables are and be able to quote half the films from memory.
10. He also said he didn’t “hear the question properly” when asked why he owned so many kerosene soaked crosses and white sheets with eye holes cut out of them and he answered, “Ummmm…they were on sale?”
11. Holy shit, after a relatively quiet January and February, I am really working my ass off this week. Painting a whole house, a slew of auditions in a few different areas, prepping to teach this auditioning for camera class, doing shit with my daughter for March break. I haven’t worked this hard since the time I was hired to be Joel Thomas Hynes’ leather and jewelry wrangler.
12. Guest Post of the Week (CW: Abuse) – Thom Ersnt is the author of The Wild Boy of Waubamik.