Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. It was World Theatre Day last Thursday, in case you missed it. In equally relevant world news, it was recycling day on my street last Tuesday, in case you missed it.
2. The best advice is the simplest.
3. So, it turns out “Listen, I have been meaning to tell you something. There is a VERY SMALL chance that you MIGHT be pregnant,” or any variation on that theme, is NEVER a funny April Fool’s joke. Probably something you men should note for next year.
4. Whenever people who have quit smoking break my balls about all the money they have saved, I like to point out that it isn’t actually money they have saved. It’s just money they didn’t spend. You don’t see me going around telling people about the two hundred grand I saved not buying a Lamborghini this week.
5. Instagram of the Week. (First ever. Thanks, Jen Shuber.)
Here’s a couple of thoughts- how many people told you that having children would be anything but absolutely exhausting and draining? Even in the best circumstances? With a steady job and solid relationship? And you had a kid anyway. So if you are too tired to parent, punch yourself in the privates and do the job you signed up for. Your kid didn’t choose to be born, you chose that. That’s the contract. Dig as deep as you have to to honour that fucking contract. Ultimately, once you become a parent, it’s the only truly important thing you are doing with your life. So fucking do it right.
7. I had bought a ticket to Lisa Ryder’s show at the Theatre Centre last week and missed it because I was asleep. I woke up to a couple of texts from friends making sure I wasn’t dead. There was a time when people didn’t worry about me being dead even when I didn’t show up to shows THAT I WAS IN . . . I mean, some of them probably wished I were dead, but still . . .
8. I’ll say this about Trudeau—he is far from perfect. But when I look at the options, this is the only viable guy I want running the country. Because it will either be him or Scheer, unless you’re an idiot and believe in some fairy tale ending where another party might win, while the white nationalist alt right gaining momentum daily. If you think Ford’s provincial cuts have hurt us, just wait and see what the PCs will do on a national level. We will become America Light within months. And you can kiss health care and your old age pension goodbye. A Trudeau scandal is not the least bit scandalous, in this day and age. Sure, he is smug, but he did apologize. Keep some realistic perspective here.
9. This guy should be rewriting alcohol legislation like Michael Jackson should be rewriting daycare legislation.
10. Why is it that the lamest film projects always seem to have the most sides to learn for the auditions? #seriouslysixteenpages?
11. I think a better name for that HBO show The Dirt might be The Watch Something Else.
12. Years ago, it was Montreal playwright and actor Vittorio Rossi who instilled in me the value of knowing our heritage as a community. We should know and respect those who came before us, the struggles they faced, and the milestones they achieved, to gain a fuller appreciation of what it is we do. We are always standing on their shoulders; and playing in the sandbox on the boards that they first lay down for us.
With that in mind, seek out this new book about the history of Theatre Passe Muraille. A project spearheaded by Andy McKim and involving many other folks along the way. I can’t wait to get my hands on it, myself.