Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. I swear to God, I am so not a Game of Thrones fan that I actually tried to find the new show “GOT” that everybody was writing about last week.
2. Just helping to spread the word for the late, great Mallory Gilbert’s memorial celebration. Please RSVP to email@example.com to let the organizers know if you plan to be in attendance.
3. I’m sure I’m one of very, very few people in Toronto who didn’t watch a single Leafs playoff game. Why? Firstly, because it can only be “our year” for so many years in a row before you realize it probably isn’t gonna be. And secondly, my heart gets the shit kicked out of it enough between the acting world and the dating world that I don’t need to voluntarily throw it in the middle of a rink to be run over by 30 guys with razor-sharp blades on their feet. Especially not for nothing. At least my heartbreak comes from me actively pursuing things that have the potential to make my life better, and not from watching other people play a game that – win or lose – actually won’t make one fucking bit of difference in my life.
4. Tweet of the Week:
5. Is there any lazier fucking form of communication than this? I mean, sure, I guess it’s handy for those who are under the age of four, but we have developed language for a reason; as a slightly more complex way to communicate thought to each other. Especially us actors, writers, directors; we’re supposed to be communicators. Why are we regressing back to cave drawings? If you can’t find the eight seconds that it takes to write a single sentence, you probably don’t NEED to write that sentence anyway. But by all means, speak with emojis, because it really doesn’t matter what you’re saying so long as lots of people see that you’ve said it. GO SHAPES AND COLOURS GO!!!!
6. Congrats to both Marjorie and Passé Muraille. One thing I can say for certain is that there will be lots of explosive, joyous laughter in the building. Even when Marjorie is the only person in it.
7. Guest Post of the Week (and a needed reminder).
8. Being humble is an attractive quality. I don’t think nearly as many people would use lubricant if it went around boastfully calling itself lubriCAN.
9. This is a piece by director Gary Harvey. I find it simultaneously calming, and somehow a slightly disturbing image of nature. Maybe it’s the vastness, maybe the emptiness. I’m not sure. Interesting that the whales seem peaceful and safe under the ice, but that there is nothing else around them, and the trees seem equally alone and distant above the ice’s surface. There is a cleanness, order, and control to the piece; a certain symmetry. I sense there is an Indigenous influence, though without it being an appropriation in any way. In Gary’s words, “cancer kicks the shit out of me, a whole new world opens up, [and] this is what’s coming out of me.” You can find other pieces of his on Instagram at @gharvart, or by visiting his Facebook page.
10. I’m no city planner, but is it necessary for every single fucking street in Toronto to be under construction at the exact same time?
11. Least Complicated Party Planners of the Week.
12. I apologize in advance if this makes me sound too pro-ACTRA. I noticed a few people got their noses out of joint last week because ACTRA took down a Facebook page which was meant as a discussion board, but where, primarily, the aforementioned people just bitched incessantly about ACTRA, without much discussion taking place.
Now, I’m an actor who has “bitching about ACTRA” listed third under my special skills. But here’s the thing; it’s a fucking Facebook page, and one that most people don’t look at anyway. So who gives a shit if the page was taken down? If you have a beef with the union, go meet with them. If you have a question, ask them. They will answer you every time. You might not like their answers, but they’ll answer you. And if they don’t answer you, contact me because they’ll answer me. They always have, and always do.
As a side note, if you do meet with ACTRA, and you don’t like what they have to say to you, and you are going to serve them with a Human Rights violation suit, and then post the legal documents on Facebook, you probably shouldn’t then scream SHAME at them for intelligently ignoring your social media posts and, in turn, shutting down the whole page. I mean, I don’t personally believe working on a film set is a Human Right. If it is, I may serve the NBA with a Human Rights violation for putting the nets up so high, and keeping me from becoming a huge basketball star. But I digress.
Most lawyers will tell you not to post your case on Facebook for the same reason ACTRA doesn’t want to post the answers to a lot of the general enquiries they receive; because it shouldn’t be public information. ACTRA has to be transparent to its members, certainly, but not to any dickwad who has a Facebook account. And as a side side note, do you know who’s going to have to pay ACTRA’s legal costs in this case and, in fact, in any case? To be specific, the roughly fifty-to- sixty-thousand-dollar expense that my legal consultant informs me such a case generally costs? I am. And all of the other dues-paying members of ACTRA, including the ones cheering for you.
That fifty to sixty thousand could go a long way towards buying drinks and food, which I now won’t have access to during next year’s ACTRA Awards for the roughly seven hours it takes to hand out those five awards (wink face emoji).