Drake’s Nappo Hoodie, Getting Caught, and My Dad
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. This week on CBC, watch as Detective Murdoch and Frankie Drake team up and travel through time to solve the mystery of Why The Fuck Are The Doras Being Held On A Tuesday This Year?
2. Turns out Drake will wear pretty much ANY hoodie to a game if they let him keep it, pay for his Uber, and slip him twenty bucks.
3. Now that Game of Thrones is over, I’m having a really hard time deciding on a new overrated, really popular, show to not watch.
4. The sign on the subway read “FARE EVASION COSTS US ALL,” which makes no fucking sense at all if you stop and think about it for five seconds; maybe even three.
5. I believe I have invented a phrase that shall eventually replace the awkward belated wishes for missing a friend’s birthday by just one day: Happy Birthsterday!!!!
It just feels more present tense and celebratory.
6. My daughter and I have this joke/game where I ask her: “Hey, Ella. What is every single person in jail in jail FOR?”
And she answers back: “For getting caught.”
That’s the trouble I find with the What If? game. Most people don’t think: “What if I had just been a better person?” they think, “What if I just hadn’t been caught?”
7. If that Netflix special Still Laugh-In: The Stars Celebrate proves anything it’s that pretending to be drunk and stoned and acting like you’re having fun on television is no substitute for really being drunk and stoned and actually having fun on television.
8. Classic Futurama.
9. Guest Post of the Week
10. Many in the theatre world have known and worked with Nina Okens as a costume designer. I love this piece by Nina, entitled Short Turn. She made it entirely out of recycled Metropasses which she cut into quarter-inch squares and covered in an epoxy resin. You can see more of her work at ninaokens.com.
11. This is the shower curtain in the sublet I am staying at all summer. I’m seriously thinking I may rent the tub out to Outside The March as a bring your own venue in the fringe this year.
12. I told you my dad couldn’t spell, but apparently he CAN do some other shit at seventy-seven years old that I wish he’d shut the fuck up about.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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