Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Long weekends to actors are like long penises to porn stars. Not really that big of a deal.
2. Inspirational Quote First Drafts #359:
“Whatever doesn’t kill you, will likely keep on trying and very probably succeed eventually.”
3. Mother: “Will you PLEASE GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!!!??”
Son: “MA!! PLEASE!!! I’M TRYING TO SAVE THE FUCKING PLANET HERE!!!”
4. It was National Dog Day last week – which means, for those of you keeping score, that dogs get the exact same number of National Days as women get International ones.
5. I adore the simplicity and elegance in this piece of Ariana Sauder’s work. She is also a graphic designer who does all of the graphics for Bad Hats Theatre – her sister Fiona’s company. I had a hard time deciding on which piece to feature, but I decided on Vin + Charcuterie + Amies. It perfectly captures the emotional feeling of a beautiful day spent in nature with close friends.
I love that the technique employed in the hair is the same as the one used in the grass. I love the dreamy dominance of the blue and how the vibrant colours in the food and wine jump out at you but are surrounded and protected by the women who share them. I also like that the women share the same name (I know “Amies” means “friends” but I choose to believe they are all named Amy). Their almost identical facial expressions convey no need or desire for anything but the present moment that they exist in together. You can see more of Ariana’s work at https://arianasauder.com.
6. Ella says that of all the dads on TV, I am the most like Frank Gallagher from Shameless. She’s probably right for thinking it, but she didn’t have to actually say it out loud… the little fucking ingrate.
7. This session is already full up. I’m using this platform to do some research, though, because I can. If you’d be interested in participating (in theory) in a late October/early November class, please email Sue Edworthy at Sue.firstname.lastname@example.org and let her know you’d be interested. This isn’t a commitment. Just seeing whether or not there is enough interest to do another one so soon.
8. That new Tarantino movie is a bit too long and a tad self-indulgent – but, it isn’t bad by any stretch. It’s kind of like watching a Bon Iver song.
9. Guest Joke of the Week
10. When the time comes, and you are drawing your final breath if you can look back at your life and say that you have absolutely zero regrets… you’re either a fucking liar, or you did it all wrong.
11. This motherfucker lies like normal people breathe. It does not put money in your pocket to freeze taxes only to cut social programs. What is happening is that you are losing something that your taxes are paying for. They don’t give your taxes back! They keep them. And give you nothing in return. On what fucking scoreboard does that put us ahead?
12. I painted the entire Tarragon, inside and out, for their 40th season. By the time this season starts, I will have painted both of the lobbies at Canadian Stage. I have also painted the front face of Coal Mine Theatre. I had the chance to paint the lobby at Crows, but I was too busy at the time. Hopefully, that gig will come back again. I love the idea that I get to greet people, in my own way, every time they come to see a show in one of these buildings. It doesn’t even matter if they know it because I know it. I think one of my new goals is to paint as many Toronto theatres as possible. It’s just another way to contribute to a community I have been fortunate enough to belong to for nearly thirty years.