Lip Service, Old Robert De Niro, and Other Tony
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. I don’t get why people are so shocked when somebody in Toronto starts dumping buckets of shit on people, when most people spend all day every day doing the exact same thing from behind their keyboards.
2. Comment of the Week:
3. Top 5 James Bond Movies starring Donald Trump:
5. From Russia with Love (An election story)
4. The Man With The Golden Showers
3. Never Say A Coherent Sentence Again
2. Live and Let Anyone Who Isn’t White and Wealthy Die
1. Grabdapussy
4. Stranger Things: Season Twenty:
For God’s sake, somebody cancel this fucking show already!!!!!!! It’s just sad now.
5. Saw Soldier On at Canadian Stage with my cousin Tom and nephew Tommy on Friday. After the play was over, my cousin asked why the actors weren’t coming back on to be announced.
Me: It’s not a fucking hockey game, Tom. They don’t announce the three stars at the end.
Tom: Why not? How the fuck are you supposed to know who anybody is?
Me: You read the program.
Tom: Fuck that. This theatre needs a suggestion box.
6.
If you are a female technician or looking to hire female technicians, this looks like a pretty great resource. Check the link and register if you haven’t.
7. Things That Have Been Given Names That Sound Way Better Than What They Actually Are #5,239:
Lip Service.
8. I Don’t Have Any Snappy Header For This. Would Just Really Like To Help The Brother Reach His Goal.
9. I recently saw someone I had a bad relationship with a very long time ago get killed in a horror movie. I won’t say anything stupid like I enjoyed it, because I didn’t. It’s a fucking movie. Who cares? I had thought about making a joke about it but decided that that would be too open to misinterpretation by idiots with an agenda. I would never wish anything like that on anyone. Ever. No matter how much I disliked them. Life is precious.
It did, however, make me think about how many times I have been killed on-screen and how many people that MAY have potentially brought some kind of sick pleasure to, over the years… for any number of possible reasons, really.
10. Testimonial of the Week:
11. When I was young and crazy, I used to like to crush up my cocaine and cut it into lines with my health card. I thought I was so clever being all ironic. Do you know what the difference between a clever and a not-clever drug addict is? The kinda shit people say at their funeral. That’s pretty much it.
12. Other Tony Nappo of the Week:
Not sure why I have never thought to put this in my column but I’ve been Facebook friends with this actor named Tony Nappo for years now. When there is another actor in North America who happens to share your name, it’s pretty great to know that he or she is a really good one.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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