Cartoon Raccoon, POP, and Being Good at Something
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. “Being in a show with you is like having a cartoon raccoon backstage.” – Diana Donnelly
Probably my favourite thing any cast mate has ever said about me.
2. Instead of punishing yourself, help someone else. We’ll all be dead in ten minutes, anyway. Why not make the most of that time in as positive a way as possible for everyone?
3. TTC Tip of the Week:
Last week, Emma Houlahan told me that the fine for shitting on a streetcar is lower than the one for riding without paying your fare. So, if you ever see those Rocket Police headed your way and you haven’t got a proof of purchase on you: drop and plop. They’re very likely to forget about asking you to produce the POP after that, and you’ll save yourself some dough.
You’re welcome.
4. Reminder of the Week: You’re a Fucking Hero
5. Ella, my 15-year-old daughter, and I are watching a young kid boxing on YouTube who is absolutely amazing.
Ella: When I have a kid I want to raise it like that. I want it to be really good at something.
Me: I gave up on that dream ages ago.
6. Tru Talk of the Week:
7. Fuck Yeah of the Week:
8. Anyone who ISN’T standing with the Wet’suwet’en people, consider what it might be like for you if someone came into your own home—the home that every member of every generation of your family has lived in since the beginning of time—just because they wanted to. And, if when you resisted—IN YOUR OWN HOME, that every member of your family from every generation since time began lived in—the folks who were taking over your house were threatening and willing to arrest you and possibly even shoot you if you didn’t let them do whatever they wanted to do—IN YOUR OWN HOME. The descendants of the same people who robbed, raped and killed so many of your ancestors and who also took their children away from them to raise them the way they saw fit and abused them viciously in the process. The descendants of those same people were now doing whatever the fuck they wanted IN YOUR HOME and threatening you for standing your ground!!!! Imagine, and consider all that if you are NOT standing with these folks… and then, go fuck yourself.
9. Meme of the Week (from Mimi, no less):
10. Always remember that you don’t have to be a good person to be a good actor. And you don’t have to be a bad person to be a bad actor. The two have absolutely nothing to do with each other.
11. Quote of the Week:
12. Guest Post of the Week:
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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