Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Andrew Scheer is considering kicking Doug Ford out of the Progressive Conservative Party altogether if he doesn’t stop helping people.
2. I googled “non-essential services,” and “making another shitty fucking Christmas movie” was the first thing that came up.
3. At another COVID-19 press conference, Justin Trudeau attempted, but didn’t quite succeed, to show everyone that he could be every bit the statesman with balls of steel that his father was, when a reporter asked him, “If we can find this much money during this crisis to help Canadians out, how long can you justify NOT making the long overdue reparations with this country’s Indigenous people?”
Trudeau responded by simply saying, “Just watch me.”
4. Imagine if Ins Choi had passed this place instead of Kim’s Convenience (or Bob’s Convenience, yes, I know the whole story).
It might have changed everything.
5. Line of the Week (tie):
“I’ve practically washed the colour off my hands” — Greg Joseph (he’s not white)
“Has anybody tried jumping on the curve?” — Pat Thornton
6. I know it’s hard to feel sorry for drug addicts sometimes, but my heart really goes out to all of the cocaine addicts who have no way of earning money these days to support their habit. I mean, a lot of those people were just living hand to nose as it was.
7. Guest Post of the Week:
8. Top 5 Self Isolating Rap Group Names:
5. 3 to 6 Feet Away Mafia
4. De La Sars
2. N.W.T.P. (N*gg*z Without Toilet Paper)
1. The Wuhan Clan
9. Memorial of the Week:
10. Things are getting so bad for Trump that even his supporters are starting to think “There has got to be a SMARTER lying, racist, homophobic, ecologically irresponsible, misogynist, Islamophobic, rapist, pedophile, grade school bully mentality piece of shit who can lead us through these troubled times.”
11. Advice of the Week:
12. Thought of the Week (from my The Cost of Living script):