Moist Talk, Toilet Paper, and Tony’s Technically Perfect Penis

Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.

1. Was trying to multitask and I got my CERB application mixed up with my Grindr registration. So now I am not receiving any benefits, but the government is giving me four hand jobs every month, no strings attached.

2. Line of the Week:

3. The upside of being a drug addict for years is that I already got this self-isolation thing down to a science.

4. Teacher of the Week:

5. Classic Me:

6. Amen of the Week:

7. If you really wanted to challenge actors with the Professional Challenge on Facebook, challenge them to NOT post a picture of themselves at work.

8. Reminder of the Week:

9. Isolator of the Week:

10. Here’s a thought. Since we aren’t working for the next how many months anyway, why don’t all actors just go on strike now when we wouldn’t really be disrupting anything and negotiate new agreements so we can get a better wage and half decent residual system going forward? Everyone is going to want to shoot like mad when this is over. Why don’t we set ourselves up to make the money we should be making after months and months of living on nothing?

11. Guest Post of the Week:

12. Just started my second roll of toilet paper since the pandemic broke out. I’m not quite sure what THAT whole fuss was about.


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Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.