Italian Epics, Awkward Farts, and Apple Fritter Murder

A graphic of Tony Nappo edited to appear as multiple people sitting in a circle as a spoof of Alcoholics Anonymous. At the top and bottom of the image is text that reads "Nappoholics Anonymous"

Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.

1. I just thought of an amazing alternate name for all future Online Theatre Festivals. I would call them Watching TV.

2. Gaming Strategy of the Week:

3. Top 5 Italian Epic Films:

5. Lord of the Bada Bings
4. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Sangwitch, and the Wardrobe
3. Lawrence of Arabiata
2. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Goombahs
1. Parmesanageddon


4. Sign of the Week:

5. Farewell of the Week:

6. If I were a judge and had to try a case where someone murdered another person for eating their last apple fritter from The Big Apple, I already know, before hearing a single word of testimony or seeing a single shred of evidence, that I would find that person Not Guilty. This is the main reason that I never became a judge.

7. One of the main upsides of dating a guy who has no ability to smell anything means that, if you can control the volume, you won’t EVER have that first “awkward fart” moment.

8. Jobortunity of the Week:

9. Rant of the Week:

10. As I scroll through social media postings lately, I’m torn as whether to be more astounded at how many white people just didn’t know how systematically shitty and unfair life has been for people of colour, or how many white people still seem to not have a fucking clue just how shitty and unfair life can be for people of colour.

11. Guest Post of the Week:

12. Biblical First Drafts:

“When I was a child, I spoke as I child. I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things and began playing with my dick fairly regularly.”
1 Corinthians 13:11



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Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.