Being Young, Fucking Off, and the Right Kind of Asshole
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. You know those wonderful memories you have of your parents waving goodbye to you when you were a little kid? How they would do that right up until the very last second that you were out of sight? And remember how safe and confident that made you feel to be loved so intensely? How confidently you walked through the world because you had these two people missing you every time you left their side and cheering for your every success in life? Well, they were actually doing that just to make sure that you had definitely left and weren’t going to come back and interrupt them in the middle of dirty grown-up sex. This is a fact that most people who do not have kids never realize… until they date someone who does have a kid.
2. Classic Ella:
3. Top 5 Donald Trump Horror Films:
5. Frankenstupid
4. Get Out (of the White House, Asshole)
3. Vladimir’s Baby
2. The Brain Dead Zone
1. Interview with a BadLiar
4. Matlock Moment of the Week:
5. Relationship Model of the Week:
6. COVID-19 Positive Testimonial of the Week:
7. Guest Post of the Week:
8. Chef of the Week:
I saw this post and thought I’d share in case anyone can help contribute to help Emily feed folks who need it.
Emily’s response to my request for more details:
9. Memorial of the Week:
10. Our world is at war on so many different levels right now. You can shit talk aggression and hate all you like but I can’t find many battles or wars in any history books that have been won with love and acceptance. I don’t believe that love conquers all. I believe that it can conquer a lot but certainly not ALL. Why not? Because some people just don’t speak love. And sometimes what it takes to reach someone who doesn’t speak love is a smack in the fuckin’ head.
Having said that, I don’t personally see any point at all in hating individual people, really, or any particular words that I get told off for using often. That seems like a waste of valuable energy. Words are just words—the intention and context behind them is what is important. And people are just people. Very few people, if any, are perfect. Most people who seem like dicks or assholes are probably reasonably decent human beings who just happen to either be more selfish or more ill-informed when it comes to expressing views on any given particular topic. When those folks spew their backwards ideas or contribute to the spreading of false information that is ultimately going to harm people more than help them, those are things I hate. Whenever someone is writing about or treating anyone else as if they do not entirely deserve the same equal and fair treatment as everyone else.
But I choose to focus most of my hate on THEIR IDEAS. The ideas behind ALL LIVES MATTER, misogynistic rape culture, homophobia, anti-LGBTQ, racism, or discrimination of any kind—willful ignorance, or an anxiety to embrace information that isn’t true (anti-vaxers, anti-maskers, etc.) and spread it to discredit actual proven truths. But I don’t hate the individual people who believe and share those ideas. How could I? I don’t even know most of them.
At the same time, I also don’t really give a shit about hurting their feelings or offending them in any given comment thread, because I don’t respect them for standing behind the ideas that they choose to represent. Does that, then, make me an asshole, as well? Sure, sometimes it does. And I’m okay with that. Because I feel like I’m the right kind of asshole. I’m the kind of asshole that actually just cares about and supports other people’s interests—based on their humanity, not their skin colour or sex organs—because that is the right thing to do. I’m also the kind of asshole who doesn’t feel even the tiniest fucking inkling of a need to be polite about expressing that support in the face of fear and ignorance.
11. Mother of the Week:
12. I’ve had to put up a self-tape backdrop behind my toilet because, at this point, psychologically it is the only thing that helps me to “relax and just be.” Thanks a lot, Pavlov!
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
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At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
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If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
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If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
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In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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