Not Something to Pray Away, Not the Enemy, and Not in the Same Boat

Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.

1. My new therapist says he is keen to get started working on my avoidance issues.

Man, I’m really gonna miss that guy.

2. Rookie of the Week:

3. I was really enjoying that Belushi documentary on Crave, but I thought the second half of it started kind of dragging—until I realized I’d gone to the bathroom and had just been staring at myself in the mirror for 45 minutes.

4. Painted an apartment last week—because the tenants had just moved out, an apartment which I happened to have also painted right before they moved in—so I had to cut out that usual step in my process where I shit talk whoever painted the place before me and point out all of their mistakes to the landlord.

5. Here’s the thing about Tom Cruise and everyone saying, “That’s not how you talk to people” and such. He’s been around for forty fucking years, more or less, and this is the first time I have ever heard any reports of him behaving this way. If you are the captain of a ship and the lives and livelihoods of everyone on board are your responsibility and you are put in a position where you have to keep telling the same person/people over and over to stop putting all the lives and livelihoods of the people aboard at risk and the offenders continue to ignore you, not only is it justified to lose your fucking shit on them—it is necessary. Not only to instil confidence in everyone else on board that you are, in fact, the leader and that you know how high the communal stakes are in order to reassure them that they are safe under you command, but also to make an example of the offenders and deter others from following them their same path of reckless self-sabotage.

A leader can’t worry about what the optics are when they are leading because they are too busy worrying about getting the fucking job done.

And I’m not even a fan of the guy.

6. Guest Post of the Week:

7. Share of the Week:

8. I learned a significant lesson this week.

When someone dies and nobody is saying anything about how they died, it’s very possibly because we aren’t meant to know how they died. Generally speaking, the hard part, the painful part, isn’t HOW someone died but THAT they died. That is the purpose of sharing the news with us. To inform us that a person that we may or may not know is no longer here with us and won’t ever be again. That itself is the news. Any further details and specifics won’t alter that news, in any way. If one happens to have been closer than us to the deceased, they may know the specific details and will likely share them with other people who were also close or part of some inner circle. And that inner circle may not feel like sharing the information outside of itself right way. We may WANT that information—it’s natural and human to be curious—but we aren’t entitled to it. No matter how badly we want it. We will most certainly find out, in time, but we don’t NEED to know immediately. And if we do truly love and respect the deceased as much as we publicly claim to, we should be more than happy to quietly respect the fact that the close friends and family of the deceased have the right to privacy as they enter into the process of mourning without feeling obliged to answer our curiosities—no matter how deeply and sincerely we share their grief.

9. Reality Check of the Week:

10. Memorial of the Week:

11. Tribute of the Week:

12. Remembering Two Warriors:


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Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.