Groundbreaking TV, Housekeeping Tips, and Facebook Quizzes
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Ran into Barbara Fingerote at the Crowsnest and she told me she is a fan of Nappoholics and that I should write nice things about Jeffrey who was extremely helpful and personable with me and really well groomed, so I took this photo. I can’t remember whether Barb was standing or sitting when I took it.
2. Took my daughter Ella to see The Bodyguard, which she thought was actually about Whitney Houston, for some reason. She asked me after the show if someone trying to kill Whitney on stage had really happened. I told her, no, actually the show is just based on a movie that Whitney had starred in about a fictional singer.
Ella- So, you mean it wasn’t about her real life AT ALL?
Me- No. Not at all. It’s all from a movie she was in.
Ella- Well, what the hell is the point of that?
3. I mean, sure, Kim’s Convenience WAS groundbreaking television, but it isn’t anymore. What would be groundbreaking NOW is a show with an entire Asian cast AND ME. Get on that shit, CBC!
4. I’d only watch a show hosted by Howie Mandel if it was called A Bunch of People Throwing Large Rocks at Howie Mandel.
5.
6. Housekeeping Tip of the Week:
If you are gonna hide the iPad from your daughter in the fucking laundry basket, remove the iPad from the laundry basket before you put the laundry in the fucking washing machine.
7. The song “Hopelessly Devoted to You” comes on the radio.
Me- When I was young, this song always made me very emotional. This one and “One Tin Soldier.”
Kate- Is that when your dad made you start boxing?
8. Spellcheck is for poosies.
9. How sweet was it of Justin Trudeau to take time out of his busy schedule—of posing adorably for photo ops and giving beautiful speeches he doesn’t plan to follow up on with any kind of action whatsoever—to go see Come From Away on Broadway—and pose adorably for photo ops and give a speech he doesn’t actually have to follow up on with any kind of action whatsoever?
10. That time on the Born to be Blue set when I bet Callum Rennie my pants that I had a better ass than him. I should never have agreed to let Ethan Hawke judge.
11. Weyni, our director, asked us to do an “Italian” run at our Butcher rehearsal yesterday so I just did what I do in every run.
#casualracismrocks
12. I took the What Kind of Writer Are You? quiz on Facebook and the result was: “Well, you’re no Kelly Nestruck.”
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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