Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Tips for the Pathetically Ignorant-
If you are planning to attack someone publicly for their religious beliefs, you should probably research which religion they are first… you stupid fucking asshole.
2. If Doug Ford wins the mayoral race, I predict that, compared to his brother’s time there, nothing all that interesting or memorable will happen while he is in office. Kind of like the two seasons that Jim Belushi spent on Saturday Night Live.
3. Don’t want to jinx it but there is some truth to the rumour that Johnny Goad and I are in negotiations right now for the remake of this.
4. Top 5 Lines from the Canadian Version of The Godfather (once again, in honour of Bad Blood, premiering Sep 21 at 8pm on City TV):
5- Keep your friends close but keep your enemies’ gift receipts.
4- Leave the gun. Take the Timbits.
3- Luca Brasi sleeps much more comfortably now thanks to free health care.
2- I’m Moe Greene! I made my bones when you were still wearing Cooperalls!!!!!!
1- Tell Mike I’m really sorry, eh?
6. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that Suicide Prevention Awareness Month falls in September—the same month that the Leafs begin their new season.
7. George Masswohl has unseated last year’s champ, Adrian Truss, and taken the Gold Medal in the 2017 Paul Thompson Look-Alike Contest.
8. I attended my second gay wedding with Kate this past weekend and it was absolutely beautiful. The two brides were Allison Bent and Sarah McLaughlin. I cried throughout the entire ceremony.
The first gay wedding I attended was just over a year ago and it involved two grooms, Jay Chellew and Mike Andrew. Again, I cried from start to finish.
I think I react so emotionally because of how unfair and discriminatory the world is, and can be, to same-sex couples. And because of how these couples openly vow to love each other and share a life together, entering into the covenant of marriage in front of their friends and family, who may or may not accept who they are.
These factors make the ceremony feel like a victory to me. Their personal victory, first and foremost, but also love’s victory over hate and prejudice and ignorance. A collective spiritual victory. I felt so moved and blessed, in both cases, just to be a witness to the power of these unions.
And then there is the party afterwards, which I think Allison summed up best in her speech when she said, “For some of you, this is your first gay wedding. I think you’ll see it’s the same as a straight wedding except everybody has more fun.”
9. Favourite status of the week:
10. Whenever someone starts following me on Instagram and likes a picture, I automatically wonder why they didn’t like all the other ones.
11. I’m calling this one right now. Somehow, somewhere, Gaten Matarazzo plays Micky Dolenz.
12. I’ve been worrying lately that my hearing’s been starting to go, but the other day, on set, they shaved the hair out of my ears and now I’m hearing shit people said two weeks ago.
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