Losing Teeth, Corey Feldman, and Bad Canadian Writing
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Tie Domi had to return the $100 cash prize he received last week for Best Jack-O’-Lantern at a charity fundraiser when organizers realized that he hadn’t entered a pumpkin at all. It was just his actual head.
2. Alternative Dentistry Tips #64:
If you lose a tooth (especially the night before you are shooting), just crazy glue it between two other teeth on your partial plate. Duh.
3. I am not sure what punishment awaits Kevin Spacey but I hope to God it involves him being forced to watch K-PAX and Pay It Forward, from start to finish, every day for the rest of his life.
4. Classic Boyd. One of my all-time favourites.
5. Comeback of the Week
Ellie Moon, twenty-four year old actor/playwright
6. The only way Billy on Stranger Things season two could have been written any more obviously as a bad guy is if he had eaten the rest of that cat.
7.
8. If Corey Feldman wants to blow the lid off Hollywood, he doesn’t need to make a movie. He just needs to finally say what he’s been threatening to say for about twenty years or so. If he is telling the truth, which I don’t have any reason to doubt, imagine how many kids have been hurt in the time he has been saying he is going to say something. Besides, if he does finally reveal the information in a movie, it would still remain a secret because who the fuck is going to go see a movie made by Corey Feldman?
9. Who says Facebook ads can’t be fun?
10. I’m pretty sure I know why, even though it is spelled COMputer, most people call it a CUMputer.
11. Guest Post of the Week:
12. I was painting a bedroom this week and the Tom Waits song “Picture in a Frame” came on. I immediately thought, as I often do when I hear it, of Kristen Thomson’s show I, Claudia. And, then, I immediately remembered the column I wrote last week and regretted not including that show as one of the all-time great pieces of Canadian writing and theatre that I had ever seen or read. Now THAT was some pretty shitty Canadian writing on my part.
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Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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