Marijuana Legalization, Peoplekind, and Fifty Shades Freed
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Major breaking news that will affect people who smoke marijuana in absolutely no way. Not even a little bit. Protests have been planned by nobody at all.
2. Hey, Justin Trudeau. Be a fucking leader. If I want to see fake tears, I’ll watch This Is Us.
3. Classic Ella
4. The biggest and most powerful rocket in a generation, Falcon Heavy, was successfully launched into space on Monday from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Scientists attribute their success primarily to the slight modification they made to the name of the rocket’s predecessor, Too Falcon Heavy.
5. Guest Post of the Week
6. Political correctness is not an oxymoron. Peoplekind, however, certainly is.
7.
8. It’s like I always tell my zombie acting classes. You can’t ACT Zombie. You have to BE Zombie!!
9. I was very fortunate, last week, in that a character I played on a television show two seasons ago has been brought back to guest star in a new episode.
At the wardrobe fitting, the designer said, “It would be great if he could be wearing the same jacket he wore last time. That way, the fans will recognize the character immediately.”
My first thought was, “What about my fucking face? They’ll recognize a jacket from two years ago before they recognize the fucking person wearing it???”
But I didn’t actually say that because she was referring to fans of a SPACE SHOW so there’s a pretty good chance that she might have been right.
10. How the fuck did they choose Zombies over Zambonis??
11. This is maybe the first week ever that I was glad to be me and not Justin Timberlake.
12. … which is weird because the first film was such a giant leap forward for feminism. Did NOT see this coming at all.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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