Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Ella and I have a motto for this week: Don’t March Break My Balls.
2. Kate, my thirty-nine-year-old girlfriend’s, idea of humour.
“Look. They made a show about us!”
3. Celebrated International Women’s Day this year by just shutting the fuck up and listening.
4. Dr. Phil Moment of the Week
5. I had this really funny Arab Uber driver the other night. The dude was fuckin Halalrious.
7. I’m so old I remember when people voted for who they liked more—not who they hated less.
8. When that guy from Cardinal accepted his Canadian Screen Award for best actor, I wondered why he didn’t whisper his acceptance speech. Ya gotta go with the horse that got you there, I say.
9. Globe reviewer Kelly Nestruck keeping his wife, Charlotte Corbeil-Coleman, safe on holiday by blinding all area sharks with the whitest legs on the planet!!!
10. Somebody in my neighbourhood has named their wifi Pretty Fly for a Wifi. And I shall be immeasurably jealous of that for the rest of my life.
11. Saw this on the Yonge streetcar. Am I being an ultra sensitive liberal snowflake or is this clearly two BLACK males being represented in cellphone form? It seems,
if so, that this didn’t need to be so. It’s a MALE message that would have been way less easy to dismiss had it just been two generic male cellphones. It also seems to me that two white frat brothers or two white Bay Street boys would represent the stories I have heard and read on the topic more accurately and appropriately.
12. The City of Toronto turned 184 years old last week. And coincidentally, according to City Hall, the oldest road construction project in Toronto turned “none of your fucking business.”