Three’s Company, Rob Ford, and Dressing Room Etiquette
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
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1. I’m in talks again to star as Larry in Atom Egoyan’s big-screen adaptation of Three’s Company. Steve Buscemi has already signed on as Mr. Furley. Arsinée Khanjian is playing Janet, and Sarah Polley is Chrissy. Tom McCamus is rumoured to be being courted to play Jack. This could be the commercial break Canada needs.
2. Hating a dead Rob Ford makes about as much sense as playing ping pong with a dead Rob Ford.
3. I think the biggest difference between Albert Schultz and me is that he’s a better dresser and I’m a better kisser.
4. Rehearsing scenes with Julian Richings reminds me of when I was sixteen and played hockey on a line with Adam Graves. No matter what I do or where I go the puck ends up in the net.
5. I once shared an apartment in Vancouver with Nicholas Campbell for a month and the only thing in the entire fridge the entire time was a bottle of mustard.
6. I was fondly remembering the other day the Othello tour I did with Gary Coleman. It was chilling every single time he turned to me and said, “Whatchoo talkin ’bout, Iago?”
7. I want someone to write me a The Martian–type movie where I’m trapped in an Ethiopian restaurant for the weekend and I have to use all my “Italian” skills to use only the available materials on hand to make a pizza and survive until Monday.
8. The difference between being a Canadian actor and a Canadian house painter is that people actually WANT to hire a Canadian house painter.
9. I will always remember where I was when Abe Vigoda died. I just might not remember which time.
10. Watching Sharknado 3—it feels like they’re starting to take a bit more license with the scientific facts in these films than they used to.
11. The older I get, the more important I realize it is for me to have my lunch hour alone. Just to clear my head, check Facebook and emails, make calls, and check in at home… But most importantly, I think that’s when scenes you are rehearsing percolate—when you leave them alone for a bit.
12. Never shit in a shared dressing room—go to the lobby, trust me. It goes a long way with your castmates, whether they tell you or not.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
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At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
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If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
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If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
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In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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